(written and posted Apr. 2022)
If YOU or ANYONE you know is in CRISIS right now, please reach out for help:
If you or anyone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.
If you or anyone you know is suffering from domestic violence and/or abuse, tell someone: friends, family, police or call this hotline for help: 800-962-2873 or 800-500-1119.
Thank you so much!
The national themes for the month of February are: Black History month, of course, which is the most widely publicized theme, and rightly so! But also most of the other themes center around Health and specifically Cancer Prevention, which I feel is a perfect way to end my Blog series since November 2021, which have focused on three main events in my life: my dog getting killed before my eyes in November, a shocking, unexpected relationship break-up in January; and a cancer scare and subsequent surgery, all happening between November 2021 – January 2022.
So this month, I’d like to share about the outcome and recovery from my surgery.
As I had mentioned in my January blog:
“… I was dumped by my boyfriend on January 3rd, by text message!…
But to add to it – he did this 8 days before my surgery! Which presented a HUGE problem because he had made a commitment to me to be present for not only the surgery, but also to stay with me overnight in the hospital (because I know how medical errors can sometimes/rarely be unnecessarily fatal). And also to stay overnight the next 4 nights at home with me – just in case of something “going wrong” – which was told to me (unlikely, but “could” happen): bile leaking into my abdominal cavity.
I live alone and 30 miles from a hospital – I didn’t think it wise to be alone overnight those first 4-5 nights post-op. So, he also broke that commitment to me, and since I have no family in the area, my sister graciously agreed to fly down and stay with me. The airfare was very expensive because of the short notice, and I had to jump through other hoops that were costly because he backed out …”
So, my surgery was January 11th and my sister got to me safely the night before, and we spent overnight in a hotel 2 blocks from the hospital and near to the airport, since she arrived late the night before my surgery, I live almost 2 hours from the airport and hospital, and I had an early morning arrival time.
The surgery was considered “moderately complex” by my surgeon and for that reason, he required an overnight hospital stay the first night. He is an expert in robotic surgery, so they made 6 small incisions around my belly button and robotically removed a 10cm x 6cm x 5cm cyst from the right lobe and examined 2 other smaller cysts on my left lobe. The surgery went well and a week later, the pathology from the sac and fluid was “Normal, no cancerous cells present”!!!! What a relief!!! Finally, I got a clean bill of health after 2 months of doctors appointments and scans.
My recovery went very well and within 6 days I was clear to drive, and 3 weeks I was clear to start working out again. However, 4 days after my surgery, we had a winter storm coming in, and concern that my sister would have problems with her flight out. We had a friend with a truck graciously offer to drive us safely to the airport/hotel, since my sister wasn’t comfortable driving a strange car, on strange roads at zero-dark-thirty for her flight, and then me driving back alone, on icy roads, before I was cleared to drive – NOTE: none of this stuff would have been a concern or consideration if my boyfriend hadn’t abandoned me and our relationship before my surgery and kept his commitment!!! So, my sister caught her flight and she arrived back home safely, and my friend returned to pick me up the next morning and bring me back to my home.
Here is a video from the ice storm we had in the South Central US, January 15, 2022.
So, I am truly blessed to have “ride or die” family and friends who will “be there” if I need them. I can’t thank them enough for their hand of hope in my time of feeling hopeless and very helpless, indeed.
My road to healing my emotions and my heart from the relationship loss has been much more difficult than the physical healing of my body from the surgery. At the time of this writing, it has been a little over 3 months and I’m still going through the GRIEF process, still struggling to stay focused on my writing, my work and my daily routine of self-care. I DO feel, at times: abandoned, neglected, rejected, tossed aside, thrown away (like trash), unwanted, unloved, ugly, undesirable and unworthy. I intellectually know those things aren’t true, but I have to do the same things to bolster myself that I share with you all on social media… I have to remind myself of what is real and what I know and believe – sometimes through sayings, sometimes through meme’s – and I’m going to share some of those now with you to close out this month’s Blog on a high note!
“Don’t tear yourself down, there’s a whole world out there which will do that for you for free!”~Jon D.
“Feelings aren’t NECESSARILY facts” ~Dr. Liz, 12-Step Recovery
“Take your body first, your mind will follow” (I use this one to get myself to exercise, so that I feel better about myself afterwards)
“My Higher Power has something and someone in store for me that/which/who is better than my wildest dreams can imagine” (this is a HOPE SHOT!)
“In un-becoming, we become!” ~Jon D.
“Don’t let your mind change your mind” ~Jon D.
“When it rains, remember, the sun comes after…and if we’re lucky, a rainbow” ~Jon D, Dr. Liz
“God, with loving force, remove from me all I refuse to surrender” ~from a refrigerator magnet I have
And finally, what I feel is the hardest one of all to live up to: The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi, where he talks about, basically, getting out of our own way, our own self-pity and our own problems, by helping others. And that is why I’m writing this Blog, why I write my books, why I created the BJD ROH Foundation and the MBS Healing Institute !!!
Stay tuned next week for more in my March 2022 blog, and the following week for April 2022’s blog: Springing Forward and Blazing a New Trail!!!
******************************************************************
Announcing the formation of the Mind, Body, Spirit Healing Tribe/Institute:
Those of you who watched my October vlog, heard about my 5-Step Formula for Launching your Life into Hope. So, if you are interested in working with me further and learning more about how you can infuse more hope and joy into your life, your relationships and your spirit-soul, join my Mind, Body, Spirit Healing Institute: www.mbshealinginstitute.com and sign up for my FREE Webinar today.
*******************************************************************
My personal message and commitment to you:
Since writing and publishing this book – Life Launch! Book One, I have committed to helping others work through their life’s traumas, by sharing my experience, strength and hope of how I launched my life out of mine – by speaking on podcasts & stages; through my website; this blog/vlog; and on social media: LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube.
I also committed to donate 15% of the royalties from my Life Launch series of books, and 15% of the proceeds from the sales of related educational and healing resources available for you at my Arise! Mind, Body, Spirit Healing Institute – www.mbshealinginstitute.com
These donations will go to a 501c3 charitable organization I founded, that I hope will have a global reach: “The Benjamin J. Dubrow Rainbow of Hope Foundation for Mental Health and Suicide Prevention”, in honor and memory of my late husband who died by suicide.
I welcome you to join me in supporting mental health care and making inroads towards lowering the rate of suicide completion, by supporting my work and this Foundation.
To make a donation, send to: paypal.me/drlizlifelaunch and write “Charitable Donation” or “The BJD ROH Foundation” in the description.
Your donation is tax deductible and I will send you a receipt you can use for your taxes.More will be revealed, Dr. Liz
