On Thursday night, September 2nd, one of my best girlfriend’s, Julie, lost her life to the COVID-19, Delta variant.
She was 54 yrs old and in good health just 5 weeks before, when she contracted the virus. By the end of the first week, she was already in the hospital. She was having trouble breathing, and even though her husband tried desperately to keep her home, she felt she needed medical intervention to help her breathe, because it was so hard.
Within 2 weeks, Julie’s condition had worsened and she went from canulas, to half-face oxygen mask, to full facemask, and then she was intubated and put into ICU, on a ventilator and anesthetized to allow the vent to breathe for her and hopefully give her lungs a chance to repair and return to better performance.
By the end of 2 weeks in ICU, the hospital staff asked her husband to decide if he wanted them to put a trach in her and put her in “long-term care”, or …. honestly, I don’t even think there was an alternative mentioned, although I assumed it was remove her off the machines. And I knew that she and her husband had previously discussed a DNR approach if either of them were in that position. I believe the hospital simply wanted her out of ICU to make room for another who might have a better prognosis, although those words were not spoken, Even though Julie seemed to have not improved to the desired point, I don’t believe she had taken a turn for the worst, until they tried to trach her.
Her vitals dropped mysteriously right before they were going to do the trach surgery. Her platelets and oxygen dropped too low for them to perform surgery and they never bounced back to acceptable levels.
Julie’s husband didn’t have a choice at that point. The hospital allowed him and Julie’s parents to say good bye. Julie’s husband entered her room against the protocol and stared down the security guard, so he could hold her hand and sit next to her as she took her last breaths.
I had been given most of the information which had occurred over the previous 12 hours, between 6:30pm – 8:30pm CST on 9/2/21, so I was pretty stunned. Thank God I went to an 8pm meeting of NA that night, because I wanted to be around my homies and support, if I was going to get “the call”, which I did.
Julie was the sweetest, kindest person I’ve ever known. She was a cat lover – not a “crazy cat lover” who has 30 in a small house and doesn’t take care of them or anything else – but a normal cat lover – she always had at least a handful of cats around and kept the cats and her place clean.
We had been friends since 2012, when she came to work for me. After I left that job, and moved into another state, we continued to stay in touch and even went on trips together. We had another trip planned for this month – she was going to try to come and visit me in my new home and new state, where she has never visited, but that will never be.
Julie was very supportive of my son and my situation as a single, working, mom-widow. She always asked me how he was doing whenever we spoke, without fail. She attended his Bar Mitzvah and was even there on Thursday night for the photo shoot, whereas, none of my actual blood relatives were there for the photo shoot.
She gave me this necklace that she had custom made for me, to celebrate my first self-published book: Life Launch, Surviving the Storms of Physical and Sexual Abuse, Book 1. It has “Survivor”, “Life Launch”, —————, “—————” stamped on each side of the rectangle.
She was truly one of a kind and she will be sorely missed.
My personal message and committment to you:
Since writing and publishing my book – Life Launch! Book One, I have committed to helping others work through their life’s traumas, by sharing my experience, strength and hope of how I launched my life out of mine – by speaking on podcasts & stages; through my website, this blog/vlog, and on social media: LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube.
I also committed to donate 15% of the royalties from my Life Launch series of books, and 15% of the proceeds from the sales of related educational and healing resources available for you at my Arise! Mind, Body, Spirit Healing Institute.
Since my late husband’s suicide in 2005, up through today, I have had a charitable fund in his name to help others who need financial help caring for their mental health: The Benjamin J. Dubrow Rainbow of Hope Fund. This fund is serving the local community in Florida where we used to live through (mostly) my contributions, since 2005, and (more recently) yours, through a portion (15%) of the royalties from sales of my book. And FINALLY, this month, I established a 501c3 charitable organization that I hope will have a global reach: “The Benjamin J. Dubrow Rainbow of Hope Foundation for Mental Health and Suicide Prevention”.
I welcome you to join me in supporting mental health care and making inroads towards lowering the rate of suicide completion, by supporting my work and this Foundation.
More will be revealed,
Dr. Liz
